=== HAPPY NEW YEAR!=== THE OLD YEAR PASSES-- COME SALUTE THE COMING YEAR ...on the Last Night of 2008 ! ! ! ! ! WEDNESDAY, Dec. 31st! ==PRESENTED ON OUR ALL-NEW STAGE== AT The Famous Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret where SHOWTIME-- more or less-- BEGINS at around =9:00 PM= THE SLAPDOWN-- Admission: $10 -ISH 3359 Cesar Chavez St. (Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood. THIS WEEK: A S we cast away yet another year, when close friends gather to make a more vivid stand against mortality, Ask Dr. Hal! and KrOB present a stirring glimpse through aeons of Deep Time, whirling back through cosmic cycles into the unfathomable Mysteries of the Prehistoric past. Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for a fantastic primeval experience, when giant dinosaurs shook the earth and Life walked hand in hand with Death. A young world, early in the Morning of Time. Creatures... that sit... and wait. And Man. There are not many Men yet-- just a few tribes scattered across the face of the wilderness. Superior to the creatures only in his cunning. Not to mention Woman. She's there too. Also, a dwarf, the shaman of the tribe. The parents, the in-laws, the neighbors-- you know, once you add them all together you've got a thriving little community there. And when they party, it goes on for hours and hours. You'll see it all. Brontosaurus-- a moving mountain of flesh and bone. The mighty sauropods of the Secondary Era. The lumbering, armored Stegosaurus, of the ornithischian subgroup Thyreophora, or shield-bearers, grotesquely adorned in his array of dorsal plates and caudal spikes. The awesome carnivore Tyrannosaurus rex, one of cruel Nature's most fearsome monsters. The Earth erupts in Volcanic fury-- and the mountains fall. Oh, KrOB's really pulled out all the stops with this one, folks. You will gaze up at our giant screen in amazement, as you rush through the temporal vortex, the fabric of the Universe splits asunder, Time is annihilated-- and earlier ages, long dead and buried, return and live again. Also featuring a well-known Mexican comedian. KrOB, San Francisco, Presents: 'ONE GODZILLION YEARS B.C.' (Life-Forms of the Pre-Diluvian World) ...perhaps the Greatest KrOB 'Edit.' EVER... WE START... WITH A CLASSIC CARTOON! Just before each performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon-- each one seven minutes of the best theatrical shorts ever committed to film. Last week we brought you, as promised, one of the best ever Max Fleischer cartoons, the unforgettable Snow White (1933), directed for Dave Fleischer by Roland Crandall. This week, our opening cartoon short is from MGM's greatest animation director, the legendary Tex Avery, called by many the King of Cartoons. It's Red Hot Riding Hood (1943). In 1994 it was voted #7 of The 50 Greatest Cartoons of all time by members of the animation field. The first of a number of Avery's similar cartoons which re-contextualize the story of Little Red Riding Hood in the modern (mid-Twentieth Century) world, it has suffered over the years from censorship problems; the overt, rampaging horniness of the Wolf, the outrageous sexuality of Red, now a night-club singer, the over-the-top desperation of man-chasing Grandma, and especially the suicide ending with the Wolf blasting out his brains with not one but two guns at the same time are details which have often caused the film to be mutilated or entirely suppressed. Naturally, you won't see the censor's hand at work when we show it-- we are, as always, taking pains to give you the whole thing complete and uncut. Preston Blair's animation of the dancing, vamping Red is considered some of the best character animation ever done. So join us this Wednesday night, won't you? --in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation's once flourishing but now mostly vanished popular culture. Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. So be on time! 'This sensual adaptation of the old fairy story soon liberates its principals from their cute Disney-style forest and slaps them right in the middle of swanky Manhattan. Grandma's a nymphomaniac swinger, and her rustic cottage home a hip penthouse pad. Little Red has become a red-hot singer-stripper; the Wolf is a model of lupine lechery; and the forest is supplanted by a big-city nightclub as the enchanted place of forbidden sexuality.' --Big Cartoon Forum 'Stunningly inventive, brilliantly funny and subversive cartoon from a team... at the height of their creative powers.' --Paul Bevan NEW YEAR'S EVE AT CHEZ POULET Which is more important to you? Wednesday night-- the night of Ask Dr. Hal!? --or New Year's Eve, the end of the last day of 2008? For it has come to pass in these days, owing to the vagaries of the Gregorian Calendar, that both occupy the same date. Now, perhaps you're planning to be at some overcrowded, noisy, ultra-expensive place where the New Year's thing is running full blast, you have to shout in the ear of the person next to you to be heard, and there's no place to sit down and even momentarily take a load off your poor, swollen feet. And if that's your cup of Gumbo, Bunky, then go for it! Come back and see us on one of our 'regular' nights. However, maybe you'd rather be with us tonight. After our show, you'll still have time to bolt out the door and race across town through streets dangerously crowded with swerving drunks behind the wheel to get to whatever 'high toned' swanky soirée you feel is optimal. Joegh Bullock's running another Anon Salon party, for example (free publicity here) where even the DJ is paid more than ten grand. Of course you'll pay seventy-nine dollars ($79) American just to get in (ours is just the usual $10, or whatever you can afford) and elbow your way through the sweaty crowd to the bar for a stiff (-ly priced) drink. You know, it seems as if they may be trying to turn San Francisco into New York over at Anon. But, so what? Money'll be no object-- after all, it's only once a year... Meanwhile, at our place, the cozy and convivial Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, you can settle in comfortably and hang with us as the year turns. KrOB will DJ and run movie clips. There'll be comfortable seating for all, so your pups won't be a-barkin.' Lift your Champagne glass high (you have to bring it-- see below--) and/or line up under the (printed-out picture of) mistletoe to smooch a bevy of beauties. And, if you're at our party, you can also... VISIT OUR PORTABLE PEEP-SHOW BOOTH! Helena Nolan brings us this special attraction. It'll be in a truck parked right outside our door. Just go on in and take a playful peek at the special Dada-ist Peep Show thoughtfully provided. Some fun, huh, kids? GUESS WHO? FRANK CHU! Yes, Frank is back! And we've got him! At some time during our next show, and indeed during every show, by special arrangement, the perennial protester/holy man, protest sign grasped firmly in hand, the living institution after whose oracular rantings the late, great 12 Galaxies night club was named, will ascend the stage once again-- and deliver a rapid-fire, impassioned, incomprehensible bromide. You can rely on it (as the Talking 8-Ball says). Go, Frank! We've even got him answering questions! COMPUTER FREEBOOTER David 'Yo-Yo Pro' Capurro provides a running visual commentary as the show progresses. To see what that means, you've got to watch the guy in action. IJ (Internet Jockey) Capurro, also known for his alter-identity Yo-Yo Pro, one of the original Monsters of Yo-Yo and Master Yo-Yo Manipulator extraordinaire, keeps the show connected to the digital world, all the while scheming to bilk Chicken of as many free shots as his inserted questions can receive, as they are rewarded in this curious fashion for their excellence and entertainment value. What a sense of humor the guy has. But we guess you really have to be there to appreciate this. So, be there! FOR PETE'S SAKE! SPACE IS THE PLACE! Learn'd Astronomer and Boffo Boffin Pete Goldie provokes and stimulates with his unrivaled Stellar Peep-Show. Yes, these are gorgeous Heavenly Bodies, Ladies and Germs, nakedly exposed against the velvet curtain of Space, burning and blazing in the depths of Eternal Night. A quondam NASA consultant, Pete's also a raconteur, artificer and craftsman, and a delver into mysteries of Natural Philosophy. The well-known bon vivant and astro-science specialist gives us astonishing pictures from worlds never before viewed by human eyes-- containing information on Outer Space and what may be found there. He's got a nifty little model of the Cassini-Huygens Probe that you'll see at the show, the amazing, far-travelling spacecraft that our pal Paul Pot perpetually toils over, refining its intricacies. Yes, something's always happening in Space these days-- and sure as Entropy, Pete's going to be telling each and every one of us al-l-l-l about it. CHICKEN JOHN SEZ: 'Hey, everybody-- come see the Ask Dr. Hal! show in a brand new location: my living room. It's 4 guys doing improv on 4 different levels. It can be amazing.' NOT A BAR-- BUT YOU CAN DRINK! So there won't be any booze for sale, OK? We don't do the show in a bar any more, so, it's OK to drink, but BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to. Of course, good questions will still be rewarded in the traditional manner-- with that old standby, Fernet Branca, TM --the 'Miracle Liquor.' That's how Paul Pot and David 'Cappy' Capurro do it-- and that's the one way you can still get a drink at Ask Dr. Hal! WEB SITE Visit www.askdrhal.com for more information than you need. THE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW - FEATURING FRANK CHU - CHICKEN JOHN - DR. HAL - KrOB - PETE GOLDIE - DAVID CAPURRO - ALL QUESTIONS CHEERFULLY ANSWERED - BARDIC RECITATIONS - FERNET GIVEAWAYS - CARTOONS - KrOB MONSTER CLIP EDITS - WITH OUR VERY SPECIAL GUESTS THOSE ROOF-DWELLING HILLBILLIES THE 'PO'BUCKETS' DONATION TEN DOLLARS OR SO - AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN COME - OUR DOORMAN ROBERT LEVY WILL GLOM YOUR DOUGH AS YOU CROSS OUR THRESHOLD. BE HERE FOR NEW YEAR'S. COME ALL, COME ONE, NEW SHOW, NEW RUN... SOCIAL NOTES At this, the changing of the year We raise aloft a cup of cheer To all our friends at Chez Poulet Who come to see us each Wednesday, And even those who've not yet tried Our show where it now does abide: To Amacker Bullwinkle, we Extend our best felicity, Angela Knowles we toast as well, And to Amanda Jensen's spell; Ariela Morgenstern and Attaboy commend in turn, Baba Lou Orlowski too And Baby Doe-- we think of you. Of Barbara Traub and Barbara Fried We'll sing the praises far and wide; We Becky Stevenson adore And send our love unto Blake More, Chris Campbell, and to Robert Burke, And Elwyn Crawford, nor shall shirk To hail Chris Carney, fellow showman, Christian Lunch and Donna Bowman, Delectable Dawn Stott, Claire Mack, David Doyle and D.S. Black, Deb Sherman, Dee Dee Russell, Hollis, Danny Girl and Ena Dallas, Danny Rathbun, enciente Nieves, Kelek, who's Becky S.'s sis, Simon Cheffins, Dominic Reo And Karen, Edith Harbaugh, Leo, Dixie de la Tour and Rusty Blazenhoff, Silke Tudor, trusty Duncan D'nuts and Alex O'Leary; Of Freddi Price we're never weary. Lilli, too, gets our attention, Nor would we forget to mention Ed Holmes, known as Bishop Joey, Eileen Hassi, distant Cloe, Gabrielle, bartender Flash, Francine Bennett, Eric Cash, Frank Chu and his protest sign, David Capurro and his twine, Harley Dubois and Heather Vescent, Helena Stoddard (always pleasant), Katy Bell, Kimric, Kellita, Helena Nolan, June, Anita, Jascha Ephraim, Georgia Axton, Tend'rest bartender, Jean Blacksten, Jenner, Windy, fair Jess Bruder, Jim Fourniadis, that square-shooter, Erin of the Dark Room; no one's Leaving out Cameron Eng, Sean Owens, Joegh Bullock, John Hell and Jim Mason, John Law, Joyful Simpson; hasten To include Jon Alloway Justin Credible, Janay Growden (and her brother Mark) And Krista Bray; we shall remark KrOB, forever at his station, Lady Bee, desert sensation, Larry Harvey in his Stetson, Lena Strayhorn, and our bet's on Fetching Lera Boroditsky Whether we toast in wine or whiskey. Let us also praise Jaye Spencer, Linda Robertson, Lynn Rubenzer, Louise Jarmilowicz, Mary P. And M.I. Blue, Violet, Mieke, Aaron and Bronwyn Ximm, the Ximlet And who else? Our mind is dim-lit. Now with vodka mix'd with Red Bull Watch us drink to Justin Cred'ble, Leslie Sternbergh, A. Alexander, Puzzling Evidence, commander Of Radio's concealed attraction, and Anna Fitch of 'Extra Action.' Brian Goggin too we toast, Marlowe Riley, and we host All good thoughts for our Marcia Crosby, Melissa Margolis, and toss we Down --why not? --just one more 'quickie,' To both Shirleys, John and Micky, Mark Bodé, his good wife Molly, Even Michael Heath, by golly, Michael Peppe, Miriam, Momo Mr. Lucky, major-domo of all that's cool, laid back and retro, Mikl-em, Danielle E. and Pietro. Molitov Malcontent, Mongoloid, Monica Maduro, Boyd, Rick Abruzzo, Annie Coulter, Cabbie Johnny, Carla Holder, Dr. Monkey, Pamela Holm And Paul Pot too-- we will extol 'em. As well, Astronomer Pete Goldie And Sarah Szczechowicz extolled be, Little Daria included, To find of drink our glass denuded. Then let us down at least one stirrup cup in praise of Mable Syrup, Rhiannon Charisse, Perstephanie, Phineas Narco, Phillip, Tiffany, Philo Drummond, Ivan Stang, Wei and the whole SubGenius gang, Phoenix, Jenny Jo and kids, Mark Mcgothigan-- thanks for the 'vids,' Miriam too, Adams (Melinda) Rachel Weidinger and Cynda, Bug Girl, Kaye, that kute Kate Willett-- Watch out! You nearly made me spill it! Reeling now, our thirst we drown, Tossing another bumper down To Robert Levy, Reverend Billy, Ron Turner and 'Mission St. Willie,' Jen Alexander, Kiko Aumond, Jessy Face, of whom we're so fond, Phil Darnowsky, Robin Frohardt And Scott Beale-- for them, we'll go for't. Lori Dorn as well we're praising, Rosanna Scimeca-- amazing! And Zoli, of him there's no carbon Copy, likewise Sarah Harbin, Spy Emerson and consort Moses And little Lucky-- each who knows us. We'll drink now to that true sensation Robin Coomer of Loop! Station, Who makes all our senses tingle As aloft her pure notes mingle With Sam Bass's talking Cello, And to that engaging fellow Rudy Rucker, Rudy Jr. And Sylvia; now with me do tune your Voice in song, in praise of Solar-- To the heavens we'll extol her-- While we drain one more Martini To Winston Smith or Tom Fannini, Steven Ra$pa, King of Bunnies, Jamie Pickard and other honeys: Susan Staley, Tarin Towers, Ty McKenzie-- and our powers Fail at adding here a homily Fit for Sadie, called Anomaly. Uriah Findley let us mention, Bobby Peru and our intention 'S not to forget our ol' pal Tyler, An' Vicki Olds-- what a beguiler. Sonjia Miles as well-- where is she? Must sit down-- We're getting dizzy-- But we remember Geoffrey Smart, Raechel Velouria and Bart, Violet, Extra Action's drummer And comely Burkes-- they call her Summer, Shannon and Kathy, Susie the Floozie, Who-oops! That las' one was a doozy. We'll toast, with o-o-ne more shot of rye, Spain Rodriguez-- what a guy-- Paul Mavrides, Mimi Heft, And Zero Boy-- we know we left Out far too many, thereby sinnin' But the room just won' stop spinnin'. Oh, yeah-- We'll pile just one more on to raise a glass to Chicken John. So Happy New Year, one and all, As off along the floor we crawl. And if we die right now, that's fine-- We'll never miss Two Thousand Nine.