Nude Beach Olympics II

Saturday, October 10, 2009, Noon

Baker Beach , The Presidio, San Francisco

North (clothing optional) Golden Gate Bridge end of beach

Look for 4’ white Olympic Torch

Video from Nude Beach Olympics I at www.freebodyculture.blip.tv

Free event.

Athletes must compete nude. Athletes are competing for honor and a wreath. Spectators are clothing optional. More musicians with acoustic instruments are welcome. Gamblers are invited to bet on contests.

Olympic Champion chosen by highest individual total points.

win = 5 pts.
2nd = 3 pts.
3rd = 2 pts
competing in an event = 1 pt

Events and rules:

100 meter, 500 meter, 1000 meter runs. Barefoot. Runner’s choice of starting pose. No official clocks. Decision of line judge is final.

Ancient Greek wrestling. Getting opponent’s buttocks, back, or shoulder on the ground within the ring is a win. 2 out of 3 falls. No slugging, kicking, biting, or gouging.

Sumo wrestling. Getting any part of opponents body on the ground outside of the ring is a win. 2 out of 3 matches. No slugging, kicking, biting, or gouging.

Discus. Closest Frisbee to target wins.

Broad jump. Athlete’s choice on approach distance or style of jump.

Volleyball. 2 out of 3 wins in 21 point sets. This year, teams chosen by team captains in rotation from a pool of players. (This issue has already come up. In future years, based on athletes’ preferences, we may or may not have competitions with intact teams who have trained and played together.)

Touch football (?). Requests have been made to play touch football. If a minimum of 10 players sign up, someone claims to be an impartial knowledgeable referee, and someone brings a football, there will be a game.

Kickboxing exhibition. One out-of-state athlete is looking for an opponent. Telephone us, if you exist.

As an adaptation to modern times and gender equality sensibilities, women are competing and welcome to join in. We strongly suspect that last year’s Nude Beach Olympic champion could easily have been a woman. In future years, we will make adjustments, based on athlete preferences, to keep women competitive, for example separate contests or weight classifications.

Closing ceremony: After the athletic contests, a wreath presentation to the Nude Beach Olympic II Champion and a toast to the competing athletes will occur. This was a surprisingly moving ceremony last year.

Athletes will again sign a disclosure document stating that they are aware that they are on a public beach and their image could appear anywhere. Also, athletes sign that they are aware that there are risks of athletic injury.

As of this writing, it appears that this event will still be a quiet local phenomenon. We are going to have more athletes and spectators than last year, but not an overwhelming number. To accommodate more athletes, we can adjust easily from last year’s pace by running multiple events simultaneously.

We have been contacted and interviewed by some major corporate international media including 'ESPN'. We are uncertain of the results of these contacts, but no money or business deals have arisen. What we are doing makes more sense and could easily become more influential than Bay-to-Breakers or Burning Man. People have a long term memory of these Games. We are templating a popular, successful formula that existed for over 1200 years during the Hellenic and Roman Golden Ages. The Ancient Olympics were ended by Emperor Theodosius I, a Christian Fundamentalist Extremist, who declared the Games to be “too pagan.”

Next year, we will be looking for the support of the City of San Francisco for a torch procession down Market Street from the Ferry Building to Castro Street joined by “fire arts” groups like Flaming Lotus Girls and House of Poi. In the near future, like the ancient games, we plan to reinstate chariot racing as an event.

This year, current Olympic Co-Champions Rocky and Michel will be competing again. Will there be a dynasty or will there be a new Olympic Hero? Gamblers, what are the odds?

See you on Baker Beach on October 10.